Stool Smashup

The associated press was nice enough to share a story about a man in Ohio who was charged with drunk driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.

“Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.”

I have one main question.

Q: How does the man know that the motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph?  There is no odometer. (You can see a picture of the vehicle in the link I’ve posted)

A: I came up with two ways that he could have figured that out – both pretty ridiculous.

1) He timed his trip between two places and figured it out based on distance. This does not make much sense because he couldn’t have been going top speed the whole way. It also seems unlikely to me that this man would have the forethought to map out a course, clock the distance and then conduct the experiment. He is, after all, someone who just got busted for drinking 15 beers and then crashing a home-made vehicle. I just don’t see him being a proponent of the scientific method. 

2) He rode along-side the car of one of his brain-dead friends, brought the stool up to top speed and then asked his buddy in the car how fast they were going. This way would be safer, but no less absurd. Oh what I would give to see those wizards riding around in a parking lot screaming “how fast now!?”. I’m picturing cut-off jean shorts, a rat-tail, high-top sneakers and an American Flag t-shirt.

The most important aspect of this story is the impact it could have on the scientific world.

Darwin could be wrong.

He lived!!!

http://enews.earthlink.net/article/str?guid=20090331/49d1a350_3ca6_15526200903311192483922

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One Comment on “Stool Smashup”

  1. cockflavored Says:

    Theoretically, if he knows the power output of the lawnmower (which he does, it says it on it), then he could calculate the rotational velocity given a certain required torque needed to overcome friction. Pacing a car would be easier though. And almost 40mph on a barstool, that’s not too bad.

    Either way, if you’ve never slammed 15 beers and then drove home on a barstool, then you haven’t lived…nor understand some of the “folk” who live south and or east of columbus.

    p.s. You may get some unwanted/unexpected visitors with the “stool” tag.


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