Oppotunity in a Growth Industry

You just can’t make this stuff up:

“SAO PAULO – Inmates have devised an innovative way to smuggle in cell phones into a prison farm in Brazil: carrier pigeons. Guards at the Danilio Pinheiro prison near the southeastern city of Sorocaba noticed a pigeon resting on an electric wire with a small cloth bag tied to one of its legs last week. “The guards nabbed the bird after luring it down with some food and discovered components of a small cell phone inside the bag,” police investigator Celso Soramiglio said Tuesday.

One day later, another pigeon was spotted dragging a similar bag inside the prison’s exercise yard. Inside the bag was the cell phone’s charger, Soramiglio said.”

Are you thinking what the Brazilian prisoners are thinking?

All the inmates need are bigger pigeons to fly them out of jail!

This could be a huge opportunity for a scientist. I’m sure the inmates would pay millions in drug money to anyone that can mutate a trained pigeon large enough to carry a felon over prison walls. And in this case, so far as the prisoners are concerned, I’m sure that the ends would justify any means. Hormones, steroids, genetic mutations – I seriously doubt they would care how you did it.

P.E.T.A might have a huge problem with this whole plan. I don’t know if they would think that growing a pigeon to the size of a Chevy is cruel. But in this economy, a potential gold mine like this needs to be brought to the public.

So if you know a mad scientist (or even a slightly insane scientist with student loans to pay) send them this link. It might get them, and the prisoners, out of a jam.

Just wear a helmet when in the laboratory’s parking lot. These droppings would do more than ruin your paint job.


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