A New Low?

” ATLANTA – Traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel were found in samples of powdered baby formula, and could exceed what’s considered a safe dose for adults if mixed with water also contaminated with the ingredient, a government study has found.

The study by scientists at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention looked for the chemical, perchlorate, in different brands of powdered baby formula.”

Who would do such a thing? Or even let something like this happen?

The Associated Press gives us a big clue in the article:

“No tests have ever shown the chemical caused health problems, but scientists have said significant amounts of perchlorate can affect thyroid function. The thyroid helps set the body’s metabolism.”

Aha! So this chemical effects the metabolism. But who has a motive to alter the fat burning abilities of our smallest citizens?

I have a theory about who might be behind this. I have no proof – please don’t sue me. It’s just a gut feeling and it makes perfect sense!

I think that popular NBC show “America’s Biggest Loser” might be the culprit!

Think about it. This show’s ratings are based on size. They know that we tune in to see the staggering transformations of the truly massive. Nobody would watch a show to see an average guy lose 20 pounds. Where’s the entertainment in that?

What the people want is to see a XXXXL shrink down to a Medium in less time than it takes to build a deck. And what better way to guarantee a steady flow of giants in the future? A little tweaking of the metabolism when they’re young and they’ll be knocking down the doors as a fresh new crop of before photos in 20 years – McDonald’s will take care of the years in between.

Oh they are crafty.

Forethought like this in the entertainment industry hasn’t been seen since Lionel Richie was bred with a greyhound to create Nicole Richie. (Again, I have no proof – please don’t sue me).

And the sickest part is that it just might work!

If you thought that Season 7 was the biggest Season ever, just wait until you see Season 27 when these pudgy preemies grow up.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.




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