Posted tagged ‘Florida’

Help Me I’m Drunk!!!

December 31, 2009

Check out this story in the Miami Herald.

“OLDSMAR, Fla. — Authorities say a Florida man who called 911 claiming he’d been beaten and shot at was hoping the tale would get him a ride to a bar.”

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation/AP/story/1402972.html

I can usually get my best material right from real life.

“He told the dispatcher he had a broken nose and bleeding ears, and claimed people were shooting at him.
Authorities say he was actually looking for a ride to another bar.”

And of course:

“37-year-old Gregory J. Oras is facing charges of misusing the 911 system and battery of a law enforcement officer.”

Why battery of a law enforcement officer?
Because when the cops refused to take this guy bar hopping “Oras kicked a Pinellas County sheriff’s deputy in the knees”.

Now I know you have many questions about this. I’m sure that someone can reasonably ask anything from:
Was this guy dropped on his head as a child?
To: how much can a taxi possibly cost in that town?

But my personal questions are:

a) Why doesn’t a guy this committed to partying have more friends to drive him around? I would think that he would be really popular with countless options for designated drivers.
b) Why isn’t the owner of the bar he wanted to go to willing to pick him up? Obviously anybody that gets that smashed is a potential goldmine of business for any bar. They should have spent the $3.00 on gas and went to get that cash cow! Assuming that he doesn’t start a brawl, blow the place up, step out on the bill or burn the bar down that would have been a smart business move for them. Even after he inevitably throws up in both the men’s and women’s bathrooms.

So that’s my view on it. The link to the article is right there. Take a look and give me your take (don’t worry it’s short – you can go back to raising your virtual ant farm on Facebook in no time).

Take it easy.

http://www.TheComedyPoint.com